Archive for October 2012

What I learned is how to take a deep, deep breath, exhale slowly, and smile.

Only a fine line separating love and hatred.
You'd laugh to that sentence when you already had your feet on both sides of the line.

Kenapa manusia egois sekali? Lebih memilih orang yang mengangguk-angguk menyetujui semua kesalahan, daripada yang berani membenarkan.
We expect people to agree with us, even when we're wrong. When someone actually loves us enough to say the ugly truth in risk of being hated, they're quickly shoved away. Truth is, we only hear what we want to hear, right? So we'll pretend all words that go against us is never, ever true. So we'll hate, we'll hate them for showing us. Then we turn to people who just nod in agreement, when in fact they never really care enough to tell us the truth for our own good. They only care about themselves, about making them look good to us, about serving our ego along with their own.
Then when the truth shoots us on the foot, they'll run away. And there, the people whom we spent our lives hating, they're the only ones we got left.

What's right? What's wrong?
That we can never reach an agreement, that's my only woe of life.
Love this soooo much! Nice color palettes ♡

to pieces.

sinking deep.

inside, slowly dying.


My heart sank.
I was (and still am) truly, really disappointed.
I have all the love in the world, and my door wide open. You won't even have to knock, while most say you'd ought to after all the scenes you caused. It has happened for times, that you drag me when you're down and shattered and torn apart, only to ditch me completely when you have managed to find your feet to stand on. I've been tired, so tired, helping you stand just to watch you leave yet again. All over. Again.
Yet another scene, another desperate call for help. Another helping hand. Another, again.
I'm waiting, secretly hoping that you will be enlightened not to see me just for my hands helping you through hard times. Just to see if you still have common sense left in you, to show gratitude for someone who has repeatedly been there, always been there for you, though never been seen at all.

If it happens again, really, I'm done.
Have fun with all your life, just don't ask for my hands when you fall yet another time.
I'm tired, up to the point that I could only bring myself not to care otherwise I'll despise you, despise you so much.

Been digging on my stumble likes, found this:
very helpful.

Most of the times it's so easy to not notice how at ease our life has been, and how this great life God has generously destined us with, it's so worth the phases of pains and hardships.

In rare times when I do notice, it overwhelms me.

Sometimes it takes big thing to happen to realize how a gratitude is long overdue.
Sometimes it's as simple as opening an odd page on the internet,
reading some words and numbers,
and immediately flooded with happiness and thankfulness.

Thank you.

I still remember clearly the small, subtle sighing you thought would pass unnoticed, but turned out apparent to my over-eager senses.
And how the air all of the sudden became too thin, the scenes too strange.
Normality seemed so forced and hard-earned - yes, I knew you tried hard. Forgive me for noticing too much; your looks, your awkward movement, those excessive nose-rubbings and nail-staring. Or perhaps, those were just my anxiety, my curiosity trying too read much into nothing, if nothing it was possibly.
But then what I was to do; be my senses wrong or right, what difference would it make?
We'd still be struggling to fake it all the way, through and through, things left unsaid.

in a manner of speaking i just want to say / that i could never forget the way / you told me everything by saying nothing
in a manner of speaking i don't understand / how love in silence becomes reprimand / but the way that i feel about you is beyond words

oh give me the words, give me the words / but tell me nothing
oh give me the words, give me the words / that tell me everything

in a manner of speaking semantics won't do / in this life that we live we will only make do / and the way that we feel / may have to be sacrificed
so in a manner of speaking i just want to say / that just like you, i should find a way / to tell you everything by saying nothing

oh give me the words, give me the words / but tell me nothing
oh give me the words, give me the words / that tell me everything

It's a very nice feeling being alone in places where people are to each their own and present themselves as individuals instead of identifying themselves in group where they belong. People don't ridicule your being alone, there are less noises and attention-seeking attitude, and people are generally nicer to strangers when being alone.

It's nice being in a group of people and being the stand-out in the crowd, but when the stand-outs are busy making noises and thinking how cool they are, it actually appears plain tacky and annoying for the surroundings.
Been there, done that. Been in the group, been annoyed by those groups.
Nothing is more comforting than just a day clear of those noises and just being in group of individuals. To each our own.

The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and everyday confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense.

Just another quote from Pride and Prejudice.

it's not old but gold. it's old and gold.

i was fifteen, a second grader, and probably one of the most sanguine person you've ever met when i first created a post in this blog.
it was some odd days shy to four years ago.

four years can take you pretty much to the other end of the spectrum.

i always like one quote about the approach you have to take when facing a problem. it says, when you face a problem, simply picture yourself in five years. in which way will the way you deal with the problem affect you in five years?

one year can take you to places you've never thought would be, and perspectives you'd never thought you'd take. that's one year. let alone five.

blessed are people who wrote journals.
your telling the present will entertain you in years to come.

Going three years back, who would've thought you'd be the last person I'd put the kettle on for?

Dari kawan lama bertemu kawan baru. Selasa malam kelompok belajar kami berkumpul di teras, adu suara dengan mesjid sebelah, dengan motor di gang bawah.
Suara kami sih sederhana saja.