Archive for February 2011

25.2.11

i really wish

i could be someone more thoughtful, more honest. not like this, a hypocrite loser.

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psychedelic

setiap dini hari penuh tawa itu di bawah langit gelap itu, saat udara bercampur dengan asap rokok dan suara obrolan keras-keras, bercanda dan tawa terbahak-bahak.
saat setiap ruang kosong di sekitarmu dipenuhi dengan kesenangan, kesenangan, dan kesenangan.
tak perlu bohong, semua orang menikmatinya. tak ada rasa ingin berhenti atau keluar. rasa ingin terlelap kalah. aku ingin bangun saja dan menarik napas dalam-dalam dan mengisi paru-paruku dengan kesenangan-kesenangan itu.
aku ingin memejamkan mata lalu menyimpan semua visual yang telah kutangkap itu selamanya. bahagia. merdeka. gembira.

di saat seperti itulah panggilan yang bukan tentang dunia menjadi lemah dan sayup-sayup. memanggil, nyaris tak terdengar. padahal asalnya dari dalam pikiran. namun ditolak sebab hati menjadi dangkal, pikiran menjadi sempit karena terlalu larut dalam kesenangan.
dunia ini. psychedelic. gembira. memabukkan. membunuh akal.
butuh usaha keras agar panggilan itu tetap terdengar.

dan tetap aku berusaha keras. agar telinga tetap terjaga. hati tetap waspada. akal tetap pada tempatnya.
semoga aku tidak kalah dari dunia.

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hmmmm

sitting back and reminiscing,

all things that had happened.
all memories.
getting reminded of a certain memory as we walk past a certain place.
replaying the moments in our mind like playing an old, silent movie
which seems so blurry, so monochromic,
seeing pictures of selves we've captured without camera
those old, moving pictures
hearing the sounds of our voices, building a conversation
the tones are low, slowly murmuring, weak yet dominating

it feels so real, no? a real, unreachable past
that always walks beside us, that always will be our shadows.
that always appears on every street corners we had once passed, every seats we had once sat on, every places we had once gone to.

only the color had changed, what once was yellow reappeared as blue, what once was red reappeared as blue, in a sudden every color reappeared as blue
because it's how we feel as we reminisce; blue. really blue.
but i will never even once say it's a pain. i will never even once say it's a pain.
because past was never a pain, and will never be.
because nothing about it does worth a pain.
i will feel grateful of every moment that had happened, of every things we had treasured.
all memories were a gift i will always feel grateful of. no need to get rid of it, no need to pretend.
let's accept, carry it with us, and go on, live the present happily.

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21.2.11

dia akan mencaci.

dia akan memaki.
dia akan melukai.

lalu, pergi.
suaranya lenyap namun kata-kata yang ia ucapkan tinggal, tertera di hadapan muka dan tak mau hilang.
luka itu mengering, karena terlalu kentara lantas dipaksa hilang namun ada bekas yang tertinggal, warnanya tua, kontras dengan permukaan kulit di sekelilingnya.

ia hilang, namun sisa-sisanya tertinggal.
terima saja, hiduplah dengan itu semua. hiduplah dengan itu semua.

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assalamuralaikum

itulah proyek yg sabtu-minggu kemarin saya kerjain :)

sama banyak temen saya, kita ngemural 8 warung kopi di bandung, dan kelompok saya dapet warung kopi pa ntis di daerah teuku umar. kalo lewat situ terus liat ada warung kopi yg dindingnya digambar gaul-gaul gitu, itu hasil gawean saya dan temen-temen looh ;p
walopun super jangar sabtu-minggu pulang pagi full gawe segala macem, tapi beneran deh seneng banget. pertama kalinya, dengan seni melakukan sesuatu untuk masyarakat :) apalagi pertama kali gawe yang interaksi langsung keluar, bisa liat feedbacknya. seneng banget liat senyum pa ntis, istri dan anaknya ngeliat kita ngemural. emang bener kan, sumber kebahagian terbesar itu adalah ngeliat kebahagiaan oranglain, terlebih tahu bahwa kita adalah bagian dari alasan kebahagiaannya :'D

terlalu banyak yang mesti diceritain, take a look aja nih ke blog mural kelompok kami. assalamuralaikum ;)

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19.2.11

so now

would it still be appropriate to think and behave like a child?

take a better control of yourself, tinc.

:D

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for yesterday

thanks so much much much my friends!

for all people who wrote on my wall, sent tweets mentioning me, sent me bbms, sent me messages, gave me phone calls, and sent me voice notes. rweaaally made my day! :D :D

i finally did my wish of last year's birthday: donor darah hehehe. walopun abis donor darah taunya ban gembos, ngurusin ban sampe lupa makan terus hipotensi pun menyerang tapi senang haha soalnya ada temen2 yang mau bantuin, malah pake bonus ditraktir makan segala haha.

makasih juga yaa buat anak2 konak (kontrakan nakal) buat surprisenyaa haha walopun lilinnya udah agak2 keliatan gitu dari luar haha tapi kalian baik sekaliiii!

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17.2.11

horeeeeeeeee

PUNYA ALIS YE YE YEEEEEE #ganyantai #cumasetengahsih #kantongmataganyantepula #gapapalah

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dalam setiap inci aspal jalanan yang ditelusuri dalam perjalanan pulang, yang kadang hanya tersapa sekilas, kadang ditelisik dengan seksama, dalam setiap incinya kutinggalkan sepenggal demi sepenggal dari ceritaku.

mesin yang meraung marah, kaki-kaki yang ketakutan pada kubangan jalan. radio yang mati tanpa suara, jendela yang sedikit dibuka.
sementara mata awas, lekat menyimak apa yang ada di hadapan. sesekali mencuri lihat ke belakang. sambil terus aku bercerita pada setiap inci aspal jalanan yang kutelusuri dalam perjalanan pulang.
lebih dari apa yang sanggup terbagi dalam kata-kata.
setiap dini hari, pada perjalanan pulang.

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15.2.11

aduh yah......


iseng ngecek stat blog, dan jengjeng... siapa cb orang yang masukin keyword ky gitu ke google??? (kalo gambarnya kurang jelas klik aja coy)

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almost eighteen

somehow i'm relieved.

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stay out of trouble

i walked around for hours
two ten pence pieces in my hand
i was alone and freezing
still trying hard to understand you

i left the others knowing
i had to do this by myself
but now the feeling's growing
i would be better off with their help

so baby what we've got
has lately not been enough
not been enough

i wish i had your scarf still
that once embraced and kept me warm
i wish you could be with me
in these last days when i am still hopelessly poor

stay out of trouble
stay in touch
try not to think about me too much

-kings of convenience

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.....

salah satu keputusan paling menyakitkan yang pernah saya ambil.

dan saya tidak sanggup melihat sekali lagi raut wajah yang seperti itu lagi.

semoga tidak akan merubah banyak.

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12.2.11

oh dear Lord.


God.
I lose words. Moved and ashamed at the same time. What am I, compared to him? Seeing this, I'm ashamed that I used to call those little-unimportant-things that get in my way as obstacles. I have no obstacle at all. My life's as easy as driving on an empty highway, yet I'm whining upon small things and stop trying so easily. God, what efforts have I shown in life compared to him? I have no efforts at all. Oh, this video is a huge slap on the face.

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being committed

that's all.

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9.2.11

the ultimate big promise

SWEAR LESS.

ok it's almost impossible for me to be a well-behaved and reserved person but at least i can keep my mouth clean. and yes, that's a deal, baby. ha ha!

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bukangalau

jangan berakhir aku tak ingin berakhir
satu jam saja kuingin diam berdua
mengenang yang pernah ada
jangan berakhir karena esok takkan lagi
satu jam saja hingga kurasa bahagia
mengakhiri segalanya

tapi kini tak mungkin lagi
katamu semua sudah tak berarti
satu jam saja
itupun tak mungkin, tak mungkin lagi

jangan berakhir kuingin sebentar lagi
satu jam saja ijinkan aku merasa
rasa itu pernah ada

bukan curcol bukan apa, cuma beberapa hari belakangan ini terngiang-ngiang terus lagu ini errgggh satu lagi lagu racun dari prambors, nempelnya ya Allah terngiang-ngiang aaaah untung ga nyambung jg liriknya, kalo ga bisa disangka galau lah -_-

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tetap optimis itu bagus

tapi, ada saatnya memang yang terbaik adalah mengakui kegagalan dengan lapang dada.

mengakui kegagalan. mengakui bahwa sekian banyak alasan dan optimisme-optimisme yang dirancang dengan begitu dipaksakan itu adalah sekedar pembenaran. lalu mundur.

melawan egoisme, prestise diri, dan ekspektasi pribadi.
lebih sulit dari segalanya.

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6.2.11

please show me what you worth

and in case you still have no idea, perfection is not what i'm asking for.

perfection is never what i'm asking for.

all i'm asking for is just....
one simple thing. that makes you worth.
it could be anything.

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comfort, instead of truth

people who try to show you what's right and what's wrong, and never aim to only please you, make you happy and make you think good of them is actually the ones who care most about you.

unfortunately, we just want to be pleased, we seek the feeling of being right about anything, and when these kinds of people appear around us, we tend to look down on them and run distance :(

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5.2.11

di atas langit masih ada langit
tapi di bawah tanah yang kamu pijak pun masih ada ribuan kilometer lebih dalam lagi.

see? you may not be the very best of all
but you're not the worst either.
that's your choice. you can always look up, you can always look down,
and you can look both ways, to remind you to be grateful but never satisfied enough to stop being a better person :)

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foto 2011, newest issue haha



one can never measure the amount of love i have for them
they are the most precious ones, the most beloved ones, the ones that will always come first before any other, yessss my beloved family ;)
♥

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4.2.11

bye otaklemah

after a (not quite) long consideration i finally decided to change this blog's url ;p

aaaah, because i guess i just don't want to stick to the 'otaklemah' image forever hehe so i think it would be better to change it. the sooner the better, isn't it?
well i changed the url into something more... simple? haha. it's similar to my email but without the alay-spelling hehe.
so, semoga para pembaca setia blog ini (emg ada gt? ckck) cepat menemukan url yg baru ini yaa and just keep an eye for this blog, please, i'll be glad if you do :)

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3.2.11

aaaaah jleb

/via skype


Todia Pediatama: gong xi fat cai ya fathina. happy chinese new year
Todia Pediatama: angpaonya yaa mnta
fathina diyanissa: wahahahahaha
fathina diyanissa: aku cina dari manalah ko di selametin
Todia Pediatama: ih bukannya kamu cina ya?
Todia Pediatama: klo cina kan ga ada alisnya kalo ga salah
fathina diyanissa: ............

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2.2.11

direkam aja sekalian jawabannya biar tinggal direpeat

suatu hari di mobil, perjalanan menuju kosan teman


teman 1: (liat ada sepeda lewat) wah itu mirip sepedanya si mas aji (dosen muda konstruk) lah, warnanya ijo stabilo gitu kan
teman 2: jangan jangan emg itu mas aji lagi
teman 1: keren banget yak sepedanya mas aji
teman 2: eh sepedanya mas aji tuh fixie?
teman 1: bukan, sepeda balap
teman 3: (tiba-tiba nimbrung) hah apa? fixie sepedanya mas aji?
teman 1: bukan, sepeda balap
teman 4: (setelah agak lama) eh tadi sepedanya mas aji apaan? fixie?
teman 1: ..........

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february.

well well, hello! maybe we'll be back to old routines this month, like preparing for the wisuda, pameran2, dan segala macam yang lain2nya. wew. would be far different from the super laid-back january. i'm gonna have to catch up with all business and stuffs, but anyhow, am so eager to face this month, tiring ting ting ;)

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