i'm not ignoring you; i pretend to ignore you because it hurts everytime i try to be casual to you but you keep silent.

do you know why i always reply every messages you sent shortly; as if i'm too lazy to reply?

i'm not lazy; everytime i read your messages i feel so sad i don't want to continue.

do you know why i never ask you out, just the two of us?

it's not because i feel uncomfortable being just with you, but it's because i asked you once and you rejected, it felt hurt so much i cried all the day.

do you know why all these days i've always been keeping distance?

it's not because i feel unhappy with you, but because i feel like i'm useless. with or without me, it won't do you any change.

i know our relationship turns cold now.

maybe because you want me to be like him.

he is way way better than me.

but i can't.

i have different ways of thinking, and i express my love and care to you in different way.

please, can i just stand as myself?

can you stop comparing?

you know i tried to be like him

but everytime i fail you're mad at me and it's real hurt.

it's hurting me all the time.

it really hurts.

please stop.

i'll also try to be a better person. but i'll not be someone i'm not.

i can't bear all the pain.

sorry if we can't be like how we used to be.