I did a reread on an essay yesterday night:
https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/goldman/works/1914/marriage-love.htm

It is funny, the essence of the essay itself - the message that it tries to convey, I don't necessarily agree with; however, it forces me to think a lot of things I previously take for granted. A friend of mine told me to read this a good while ago - what it speaks of still stays with me until now.

Emma Goldman, the writer, was an anarchist-feminist, and the essay speaks very strongly against marriage. By no means am I trying to promote the anti-marriage campaign by sharing this in my blog, neither am I subscribing to her values and her views, I just strongly urge all of us, especially Indonesian women, to read it just to gain another perspective, to hear some counter-arguments, to understand things that are so often ignored in our society, since marriage is seen as merely another sequence of life, a natural step to take after meeting a desirable partner.

Do we ever consciously add 'getting married' as another box to check in our life's bucket list? As in, really thinking about it as an option instead of an obligation? Or is it a box that has always existed without you remembering having jotted it down, which existence you've never questioned, instead you just assume it's something you'd want to do without ever sparing your time to think 'why'?

THE popular notion about marriage and love is that they are synonymous, that they spring from the same motives, and cover the same human needs. Like most popular notions this also rests not on actual facts, but on superstition. 

Marriage and love have nothing in common; they are as far apart as the poles; are, in fact, antagonistic to each other. No doubt some marriages have been the result of love. Not, however, because love could assert itself only in marriage; much rather is it because few people can completely outgrow a convention. There are to-day large numbers of men and women to whom marriage is naught but a farce, but who submit to it for the sake of public opinion. At any rate, while it is true that some marriages are based on love, and while it is equally true that in some cases love continues in married life, I maintain that it does so regardless of marriage, and not because of it.

You'd perhaps cringe as you read it as the contempt of marriage is very overwhelming throughout the essay (bear in mind it was published in 1914, during that time the idea of marriage is very men-centric and patriarchal), but entertain the thought. Just like Aristotle said, it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.