Archive for December 2010

31.12.10

2010 in a post

a huge change of life.

perubahan besar pada tingkatan pendidikan (yang seharusnya berpengaruh pada kedewasaan), sistem belajar, lingkungan pergaulan, urutan prioritas, pola pikir, prinsip-prinsip minor.

perubahan yang hampir-hampir terlalu besar dan drastis untuk diterima secara sekaligus.

but somehow i managed to relocate things, only step by step, one after another.
for sure, it will take time.
and please, give me understanding, just understand that during this process i might not be on my best time of life.
i might not be the best of me.

setengah tahun terakhir ini penuh dengan perubahan,
perubahan itu harus diolah dan itu perlu waktu.
semoga setengah tahun awal 2011 akan jadi lebih baik.

comments closed

random bgt deh

tiba-tiba tadi kepikiran ini banget:

Tuhan, untuk semua kesalahan yang aku lakukan sepanjang tahun ini dan tahun-tahun sebelumnya,
untuk semua ketidaksempurnaan, untuk semua kekhilafan,
untuk semua kesombonganku dan semua kelalaianku sebagai manusia,
untuk hal-hal itu, semua adalah kesalahanku dan hanya kesalahanku saja.

Tolong jangan pertanyakan pertanggungjawaban atas segala kesalahan ini pada kedua orangtuaku kelak,
sebab mereka telah mendidikku dengan sangat baik dan telah menyampaikan semua yang perlu disampaikan,
hanya aku saja yang kurang mendengar dan kurang memberi penghargaan.

Ini semua adalah pertanggungjawabanku saja.

comments closed
29.12.10

here comes

unexplainable sadness after great joy

lonesome after the merry

it's like the feeling of losing things
losing things that was just in your hand, just awhile ago
the feeling you had when all of the sudden you lost it, it disappears right in front of you
but how can you explain it, you can't even tell how you lost it since it actually still exists
and you can't even tell the disappearing since you never really witness it (it never really disappear)
but you still feel the emptiness indeed

unexplainable

comments closed

just wondering

people often say that if we're having so much fun on doing something in real time, we will be so absorbed in the fun that we will even ignore the cellphone.

that's why people often also say that people who tweets much is actually not having a great time, and if people really have a great time then they won't even bother to check the timeline or post a tweet.
i don't know if it's also the same case on you. but if it is, then i am really sorry. really sorry, that i couldn't make a good time with you. i couldn't make you feel so fun, feel like having a good time.

i'll try better next time, really sorry :)

comments closed

troubleshooting (again)

so today this is what i did:

a slow drive home (thanks mom who suddenly pass the car's key to me and went home with dad on another car), alone (well i did take bimo home and talked a bit), music and radio off, and getting so busy with own thoughts.
i did think about many many things. i even ignored those lousy drivers and riders (there are always many of them on the street, especially at night) that got in my way, they used to get me to my nerves, but tonight i didn't even blow a horn for them. it was just a super relaxing slow and patient drive.
many thoughts crossed my mind. about who i am. about who i was. about how i used to be. about how i am now. comparing the past and the present. have i changed? is the change the tolerable one, or is it the one i should have avoided? well, my mind was just circling around on finding the answer, just like chasing tails. should i say, it's the kind of questions i am never able to answer by myself.
ah, mind's getting over crowded again.
sorry people, really sorry if, maybe, i had done something wrong.

right now i'm so drunk with all the wandering, but at the same time i have become really sober.
right now i am so sober.

comments closed
28.12.10

libur main ini lagi

haha salahken bangis yg tiap gawe main harmonika lagu harvest moon terus, jadi pgn main lg ;p
and yeaaa i'm currently playing this, dan tebak ngasih nama karakternya siapa? muhahaha >:)
sbnrnya pgn main yg versi mfomt, tapi tapi tatatapi ga ada downloadannya adanya cm ini haha

comments closed

...dan akhirnya kamu harus mengetuk berbelas-belas kali dan entah berapa menit waktumu yang berharga telah habis di muka pintu rumahku, dan hingga saat ini hanya suara buku-buku jarimu mengetuk pintu kayu yang kuizinkan masuk - dirimu tidak. masih aku berpura-pura tidak peduli, walaupun sebenarnya aku sudah mendengarmu di ketukanmu yang kedelapan belas, aku berpura-pura tidak mendengar, dan itu bukan karena aku malas bergerak untuk menyambutmu sebab sudah bergerak aku ke jendela untuk mengintip sedikit sosokmu dan menyimak sedikit rautmu, dan bukan pula karena aku tidak siap menemuimu sebab sudah kukenakan pakaian terbaikku dan sudah ku berhias seperti biasa setiap aku akan menemuimu. bukan karena itu, bukan.
hanya saja paragrafku harus berhenti disini karena tidak dapat kujelaskan alasan pintu ini tidak segera kubuka dan senyumku tidak segera kukenakan untuk menyambutmu. bukannya aku tidak mau menjelaskan, aku juga tidak tahu.
kalau boleh jujur aku merasa sedikit ingin bertemu, tapi rasanya hari ini enggan kuizinkan kita cepat bertemu. aku cukup menikmati rasa ingin bertemu ini sebab aku bukan orang yang romantis dan tak sering aku merasa seperti ini, melankoli rasa rindu. mungkin, hanya mungkin, alasan aku tidak membukakan pintu untukmu saat ini adalah karena aku cinta melankoli ini - ini menyenangkan, dan aku tahu saat kubukakan pintu saat itu juga semua akan hilang.
maaf, sebentar lagi ya.

comments closed
26.12.10

nasionalis \m/

tadi siang di saat pergi sama keluarga


dena: final aff tuh kapan sih?
akang: malem ini
dena: wah nonton aah, ga pernah nonton nih pertandingan aff
akang: ada nobar sama tmn2?
dena: gatau sih
bapa: mending nonton sama bapa aja de, ke unpad
bapa: nonton pagelaran wayang
dena: ..... (speechless)

yak cintailah indonesia dengan cara anda masing-masing, bisa nonton bola, bisa juga nonton wayang hahahaha

comments closed

this is what gonna happen if you sleep at wrong place and wrong time ;p

you'd better watch yourself if you dare sleep at selasing, especially if you're the ketua angkatan and people love to bully you haha but we do respect you, yoga ;)

comments closed
25.12.10

"ceu, kenapa? sakit?"

pertanyaan yang selalu muncul setiap gw lagi rada diem (ga maceuh). bukan sakit oy, mukanya emang udah gini dari sananya. muka-muka disangka sakit terus -_-

comments closed

terima nasib aja dah

suatu malam gawe


anoy: ceu ceu mukanya kaya koi
tinceu: sialan ih kenapa sih muka aing selalu dimirip2in sama binatang
abit: kayanya grgr matanya belo terus ga punya alis deh
tinceu: .... (sedih)

(beberapa saat kemudian setelah ngobrol ganti2 topik)

tinceu: eh aing lahirnya prematur loh
farras: keliatan ko ce prematur
tinceu: ohiya keliatan? darimana emg ras?
farras: gapunya alis
tinceu: .... (sedih)

comments closed

(y)

i really heart this new family of mine

and the new home, selasing, the tunnel with extremely cold weather, but also super warm atmosphere :)
dan pasti bakal kangen semua ketololan mulai dari ngebully orang2 yang tidur (main target: ketua angkatan wakaka), sepeda2an keliling kampus tengah malem, beli minum ke ck atau nasi goreng ke balubur, soksokan ghostbusting ke sf atau pau, bakar sisa2 bambu jadi api unggun dini hari, nyerut bambu, ngawat, bikin kostum, cerita2 mulai cerita hantu sampai cerita mesum, gigitaran sambil nyanyi2, yang asalnya niat pulang jam 12 pasti jadi nyangkut sampe pagi
with you guys, every single second of the 24-hour is a very great moment i won't ever want to miss
every single second, to the midnight, to the dawn, it's all so exciting and hilarious
and i'll never get bored to this
will never get bored to this.

comments closed
23.12.10

music, friends, conversations, night, wind, tunnel.
anything more lovable?

comments closed

ending the first semester

setelah latian perform opening olim (belum ada foto hari H sih haha)

gerbang olim (y)

photo with gana & nesa, maskot olim.

we've made them all, aren't we cool?
hell yea let's rock the next semester, we can do so much much much better.

comments closed

yeah yeah yeah

now it's holiday, the first thing that pops in my head is to spend the leisure time with the friends i've never given enough time to spend with lately.

high school friends i miss youuuuuu so much much. it's true that my times lately has been SOO VERY MUCH A BLAST, but still i'm longing for times with you all guys so much, so now let's go out together, inhale the smell of holiday yawwwwwww take me out somewhere ;)

imysm my friends!

comments closed
12.12.10

hmmmm

early morning before the car took me home i knocked on the window and you smiled
and it never disappears.
i'm astonished.
but i really wish i can see no more.
nope, i'm not going to wish for more, this i promise you.

comments closed
11.12.10

impulsif

saat aku bilang senang itu memang aku senang

tapi kata senang itu beda dengan bahagia dan itu bukan bahagia
karena ledakan api yang besar memang cepat padamnya

dan memang ada saatnya kayunya akan habis lapuk membakar api
dan menyiram minyak tanah juga tak ada gunanya
yasudah apinya padam
dan ledakan api yang barusan sepertinya menarik, tapi kan sebentar juga habis ya

mengapa nyala api hanya seumur batang kayunya?

ah, tapi nyala oranyenya masih tersisa di mata walaupun aku menatap ke arah lain.
dan di ujung jariku masih tersisa hangatnya.
aku mau api lagi.

comments closed

AING MANEH RULESSSSS \m/

hahaha tp resikonya dibilang kerudung dustalah apalah ckck. aing maneh udh paling mantaplah. yeaah banduuuuuung (y)

comments closed

decembrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

the last time i posted here it's a late november, and now it's even close to mid-december.

blah, i abandoned you, didn't i?
well this is the reason: because my life is both a fucking flat routine and a super great excitement at the same time. so i am just confused on which side to tell. hmm, and i find it quite hard to go online and browse things aside from tasks and assignments. rweaaallly feel a lack of time now. hm hmm.

aduh bingung lah mau nulis apa ckck bingung sih, i'm like super confused about everything now. zz. mending galau deh drpd bingung ye ga sih haha, bingung tuh ga produktif gitu.

ah iya nih, super ga produktif.

i waaaaaantttt pianooo i want guitaar i want druum i want frieeends and music sooo baaaaaadddddddd.

comments closed