it costs less, it's priceless. ride around the town, singing to the radio, thoughtful conversations. recipe's already good, now add some friends. now that's called awesome.
had this today, made my day. ecstatic happiness.

aku ingin laut. laut yang biru gelap, bukan air pesisir yang toska. laut yang dingin airnya, bukan air pesisir yang menitipkan hangat matahari. laut tanpa riak, bukan air pesisir yang ramai akan buih dan ombak yang berlomba-lomba menyeret pasir. laut dimana kaki tak dapat menjejak, bukan air pesisir yang dasarnya tertebak.
aku ingin tenggelam di laut. ingin mengenalkan setiap jengkal tubuhku pada asin airnya. bukan pesisir, bukan lari manja di pesisir sambil takut basah. aku ingin tenggelam, dalam. aku ingin mengenal laut dan laut ingin mengenal aku. aku mau tenggelam semakin dalam lagi... cuma ingin tahu laut sedalam apa.

kamu pikir aku gila, cari bahaya. tapi pantai terlalu riang, laut lebih tenang.

around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world. around the world, around the world.

quit all the worry and seriously just be happy, how could that not be easy? :) :) :)

i know i have to find courage and put aside all those unpleasant thoughts, but i can't help but pulling away, feeling too scared to try to be back in.
keep, keep pulling away, stressed in loneliness more than ever, but too scared of what could possibly be a rejection.
it's stressful trying to figure out what's in people's mind... they might think i'm hell boring. things change. it's different, i feel miserable. then, i'm pulling away.

you always tell, work hard, work hard, make the best out of every second spent. you've started running when others were just about to start the engine. you say a stop meant refueling the tank, instead of sparing some leisure time.
for you, i have nothing but admiration; hands down. but watching you from here where i stand, i am literally gasping for air to breathe just to catch you while you run.

out of everyone, you are the one who actually deserve a celebration. just once in a while, give yourself a congratulation.

armando trovaioli - dramma della gelosia : my current musical delicacy.

like a scene of a warm summer day in a european street side café, eating sweet-sour gelato with the dearest and feeling nothing but happy, very very happy.

"once you have eliminated the impossibles, whatever remains, however improbable, shall be the truth."

/via skype, late night chat with alicia amanda (summarized version)

alicia amanda: ceeeuuu
fathina diyanissa: apa ce
alicia amanda: ***** onlen ce
fathina diyanissa: haha
fathina diyanissa: iya gw tau
fathina diyanissa: cet dong ce
alicia amanda: iya ah gw mo cet ah
fathina diyanissa: ciyeeee
fathina diyanissa: cet apaan?
alicia amanda: dekdekan
alicia amanda: cet apa yakk
fathina diyanissa: hahaha cet aja ce
fathina diyanissa: pura2 spam gitu aja ce
fathina diyanissa: hey, merry christmas! open a special gift from me http://apaaja.com
alicia amanda: HAHAHAHAHA
alicia amanda: bangsat gw ngakak
alicia amanda: http://apaaja.com
fathina diyanissa: hahahaha

beberapa menit kemudian... (setelah udah chat ngalor ngidul)

alicia amanda: ceeuuu
alicia amanda: masa kata brenda gw ngasih link video bokep
fathina diyanissa: hah.....
fathina diyanissa: kok bisa ce
fathina diyanissa: makanya lu jangan asal klik2 link spam ih jadi kehack kan akun lu
alicia amanda: gw gatau
alicia amanda: gw gapernah buka video bokep.. apalagi ngirim
fathina diyanissa: lah terus?
alicia amanda: kata brenda http://apaaja.com tuh video bokep
fathina diyanissa: HAH?
fathina diyanissa: jadi gw yg ngirim link video bokep???
alicia amanda: iya ceu hahahahahahaha
alicia amanda: bangsat emang apaaja.com duh gw ngakak ga brenti2
fathina diyanissa: duh sumpah ce gw asal ketik
fathina diyanissa: gw gatau kenyataan sesungguhnya dari apaaja.com


btw gausah dibuka ya guys apaaja.com, bukan video bokep kok ternyata (ini serius)

I feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood and not making it look like my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone and being loved means so much to me. I always make fun of it and stuff, but isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

my way to spend holi-holiday! hell yeah. fffffuuuuu.

you hate me, right? you must be. unless you can come up with a better explanation, i'll have to believe so i guess.

karena setelah pukul dua belas malam, kereta kuda pun akan kembali menjadi labu
dan aku pun tak perlu menjadi palsu
kamu adalah temanku bahkan walaupun yang kupunya cuma labu

aku tidak mengerti kenapa semua orang mengelu-elukan pangeran,
akhir bahagia selamanya tidak terdengar begitu menyenangkan.

mari terjaga semalaman. mari naik kereta, atau menyetir jauh tanpa tujuan. jangan pikirkan kemana kita akan pergi. melamun saja sambil pandangi pohon, pandangi lampu-lampu dari balik kaca jendela. tidak penting kemana kita akan menuju, nikmati saja perjalanannya.
let us be consumed by the silence. jangan bicara. jangan bicara sepatah kata pun.
bantu aku malam ini, jangan bicara apapun, duduk saja di sampingku. kamu, duniamu yang berbeda denganku. penampilanmu yang berbeda denganku. pikiranmu yang berbeda denganku. bukankah kita begitu tidak cocok duduk bersampingan?
bantu aku, jangan bicara apapun. sebab keheningan adalah satu-satunya kesamaan di antara kita. aku tidak mau tahu apa yang kamu pikirkan. aku menikmati keheningan ini, serta tatapan yang tidak pernah ditujukan satu sama lain. tanpa saling memandangi kita tidak akan peduli dengan perbedaan ini. dan hening, satu-satunya hal yang dapat kita bagi. satu-satunya mutual antara kamu dan aku. bahwa kita bisa sama-sama diam. hening.
mari terjaga semalaman, mari melihat matahari terbit bersama-sama. bukankah memandang langit tertentang berangsur terang itu menyenangkan?

how happy i am to be wide awake, inside out

"ce, tar selama liburan pas kita ngerjain porto, lo bakal selalu ada di bandung buat gw kan?? ya kan?? gw mau sering-sering nginep di rumah lo ngerjain bareng ya ce gapapa ya... gw jadi anak angkatnya bu jua ya ce...."

if any of you just happened to know me yesterday (without any idea of how i am the moment you actually first know me), and shared a conversation
would you care to know me better? would you care to understand me deeper?
would you be curious about me? or will the first encounter be as well the last for both of us?
never mind, just curious.

work things out, and unless you have genies in the bottle, don't expect them to change overnight.
for some reasons, things look better in a slow motion.

lagu lama kesukaan
sudah lama tidak dengar
tapi setiap terputar selalu masih hapal

skin can never forget the pain of the bruise that colors them a hangdog green
land can never forget the cold of the rain they soak and quiver in
coal can never forget the heat of the fire that burns them wrath and smoking
greens can never forget the kiss of the sun that keeps them gorged and growing
ones can never forget the bit of the heaps that entangles them in a wistful longing

was it shiver down your spine, or was it just the weather? were you soaking in the rain or was it you weeping tears in disguise? why is it that cold always means blue, and suddenly those poignant scenes seem so true.
and all that's left was just us, watching and laughing at ourselves on the stage, thus drawing the curtain to close and begin the cast for the next year's stage.