seriously.
i am in a total blank period.
this month has been, should i say, a total futile waste of time.

i've been soo lazy all the day, while i should be doing all my daily activities normally. and i kept on blaming the weather for my laziness - my bad.
there were moments when i feel so temperamental. little things that normally wouldn't have gotten me up to my nerve had lifted my temper up, and again i kept on blaming the weather for my bad temper - my bad.

the days went on soooo slowly because i was soo impatiently waiting for tomorrow to come. i was waiting for holiday. i couldn't bear going to school anymore as i couldn't even catch any lessons during school. i kept on wishing holiday to come real quick! the more i kept on wishing, the slower time went. noo i'm not blaming the weather - i'm blaming the fasting month ;p sooorry.

then i was exaggerating much with some particular problems. i think i took it too serious and i was too all over it. and i even couldn't cope with my own feelings, i let it keep bugging my life. who's the one to blame, in this case? blame my own hormones and unpredictable mood swings.



it was all my bad. it was all my fault. but yet i always try to find other things to put all the blame on. i am such a loser. i can't even say to myself: that's your bad.
when i put all the blame on something else i feel so comfortable. proving myself that i am not wrong - blame this and blame that, don't blame me! oh please, stop tinc. stop trying to lie to yourself. stop building your comfort-zone. change.

i should be changing.
i will.

i won't make this month a total mess. i'm going to fix this. starting from now.
and welcome holiday, by the way. it's a good start to build my mood back ;p