It's possible for us to forget the ones we treat well, but we can never forget the ones that we've hurt.

For a long time, I thought distance is a great way to make something fade away and disappear completely.
It did give that very impression.
But turns out, it wouldn't disappear just that easily. It came back, and hard.
Or maybe it wasn't that hard, it was that I was caught off-guard. Unprepared, and now completely taken aback.
I'll never, ever get close to this again.

In 365 days, I only have two proper chances to have something closest to 'a conversation' with you.
The first one is today.

Saved for (very near) future reference:

Call me conservative or too-serious or whatever, but I'm seriously annoyed by people who constantly talk about stupid things, act in a stupid manner, and appear to never take their life seriously. I know some people like to deliberately construct this manner and treat this as conversational jokes; they actually treat life very deeply and seriously, but they keep it inside and try to appear not to care at all on the surface. Why? Apparently it's a trend to be just that bubbly, airhead, lighthearted, empty-brained guy? Apparently it's not cool to give even the slightest of a hint that you're actually taking life seriously? Tacky, and definitely a total turnoff if you ask me, but perhaps I am this one nerdy, gak asyik girl in the eyes of those kind of people.
I'm definitely unappealing for them, aren't I?
Gladly, the feeling is mutual.

I'd love to call this a coincidence. But it's not. It's just about as random as coming across a random acquaintance on the street. The odds of it happening is just the same, yet we call one a coincidence and another 'just a random occurrence'. We spend some time trying to figure out the hidden meaning within one, yet another does not even leave a trace in our memory.

What sets the two apart?

Perhaps, a wishful thinking. How some parts of the so-called 'coincidence' happen to be more meaningful to us. How we secretly hope that it has a meaning, that perhaps somewhere deep in our subconscious mind, we are hoping to read something between the lines. And in some ways, it's important to us to see it differently, to try to read a plan, to try to claim it a destiny.

Otherwise it would be just another day, another usual day, would it not?



Kenyataan yang sedikit mengecewakan, kebetulan berbicara lebih banyak tentang pengharapan daripada rencana Tuhan.

Every kind of relationship starts off with being strangers.
Some of them go back to being strangers, again, on the surface at least.

I can't get over this.

Glimpses of all the things that have been, or perhaps, could have been. They flashed, they danced, right at the space between your eyes and your lids.
Thoughts were bare, and our understanding of time and reality were skewed.
Half the moon dimmed spreading the silhouette of obscure things,
grey,
and pale.

Am I really committed to this ideal or is it just the case of me being too afraid of jumping on the same boat with anyone else? Do I genuinely aspire to other path of life, or is it just a justification of my reluctance to take the path that perhaps almost everyone will expect me to take? Oh dear the doubts of internship periods...