Archive for November 2010

26.11.10

bzzzt

hmmm lg ga ngefeel nulis di blog, kenapa ya, padahal banyak bgt yg menginspirasi dr kemaren-kemaren
mungkin gara-gara pikirannya jd terlalu random nih, hehe
or maybe because i'm in a constant fair mood nowadays, so i feel no urgency to share exaggerating things here
i'll be seeing you again on december, then :) wish me luck to finish my last assignments this semester, do the best on UAS and then.... feel the smell of freedom back again! ha ha ;p

anyway, yesterday i had so much fun, and...... ehehehe
(abaikan korban sugesti)

so, i'm not going to hit this page as often as before. see you until then, when my mood is back to write things again! ;)

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21.11.10

runawaaaaay!

i lost that kind of fun.

i want it back.
the doodles, the sketches,
the one i'll make without fear of being 'wrong'
or 'doesn't go with the esthetic principles'

well it used to be 'the runaway'
but now it becomes the 'routines-we-do-until-we-get-bored-to-death'
i should find a new 'runaway'

aha, hello my dear yamaha.
do i have any time to play with you again?
but, a little more beautifully.
i'll try to spare time to learn more, so i can play with you again.

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haha stop joking me

just. don't try to please me with adjectives such as: lovely. pretty. sweet. admirable. blah blah blah.

trust me, i won't blush to those words. i will laugh super loudly to them.
those adjectives are just not mine. i'll take that as a joke, because you won't be serious to say those words to me :)
haha okay. just. don't. try.
it won't work right on me ;p

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19.11.10

good food, good book

we always need places that offer it both, especially in fucked-up-mood-moments. they are always a cure!

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16.11.10

envyyyy!

alexa chung and alex turner, yeaa my favorite :">
lovely girl, magical-voice boy
and they got the chemistry!
fufufufufufufu so envyyyy the way they look so great for each other

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pandora

ada sedikit candu

barangkali sedikit sihir yang membuatnya begitu memikat

suatu kotak yang biasa saja
kamu tahu apa yang membuatnya begitu menarik?
karena kotak itu tertutup, dan tidak ada yang tahu apa yang ada di dalamnya
aku pun hanya bisa menebak-nebak
mendekatinya, menyentuhkan ujung jariku ke permukaan kotak
yang teraba hanya tekstur pembungkus kotak yang biasa saja
aku ingin mengguncangnya untuk tahu sebesar apa benda yang ada di dalamnya
tapi, aku takut menghancurkan isinya

kotak itu kotak tanpa kunci
yang menguncinya hanya satu amanat: 'jangan buka kotak ini sebelum waktunya'
dan rasa percaya si empunya kotak padaku yang tak bisa kurusak

kamu tahu aku ingin sekali membuka kotaknya
ingin sekali
tapi katanya ini kotak pandora
tidak boleh dibuka

yasudah, aku jaga kotak ini baik-baik
kotak yang aku tidak tahu dan tidak boleh tahu apa isinya

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i will try to start over again.
wish me luck, guys. and don't question ;)

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hasil perwalian

"gue berani taruhan di antara kalian di sini, ga ada yang dipaksa sama orangtuanya buat masuk seni rupa, yang ada malah berontak biar boleh masuk seni rupa, ya kan? you've got what you want, make the best out of it."

dosen wali saya, Ratna Panggabean (Kriya Tekstil).
menurutnya, desainer itu seperti BMW, classy tp funky, while profesi lain cenderung seperti mercedes yang tampilannya lebih konservatif. know what, she's the BMW. classy, funky, expensive, and she's super inspiring.
that's just a little out of.... so much, just from a two-hour talk. (y) for her :)

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13.11.10

omdo

maaf ya, fathina.

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God, help me.

help me to put a trust on myself back again.
please, God.

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aaaaaaaa ggggggalau

i thought i were more mature, more thoughtful

but suddenly this thing came and ok i was knocked down and i panicked and i was so coward and i deserved every single thing: the responsibility i should take, the price i should pay off, all the exhausting process.
i said yes, i deserved it.
but you know, my mind is still questioning things;

why should this happen? again?
what for?
why am i so....... childish.
God, what do You expect me to see now? to learn now?

this is a price.
more responsibility to take, less time.

i can say i regret... so many things... so much.
and you can't say how much i craved for a time machine, so i can change things.
at least, to be not this much, not this shameful.
i am so childish.
i am so immature.

i will change.
(and i become even less sure about myself, how many times have i repeated this statement? how many times have i become a NATO? how can i trust myself?)

i will change.
please, trust me.
please, dear people,
please, dear you,
please,
dear me,
trust me.

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11.11.10

Dalam kebingungan kita berkarya

-Dosen 3D, sesaat sebelum mulai UTS, setelah penjelasan tugas yang cuma bikin semua TPB bengong ga ngerti apa-apa. kalo saya sih pak, dalam kebingungan ya nyampah pak bukan berkarya, haha maaf ya pak.

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apa ya?

apa rencana Tuhan di balik semua ini,

jika melihat masa lalu maka pertanyaannya:
mengapa Tuhan memberi begitu banyak dalam waktu yang singkat
sementara yang saya inginkan hanya satu, tidak kurang dan tidak lebih
jika melihat apa yang ada sekarang maka pertanyaannya:
mengapa saya memilih apa yang saya pilih waktu itu
dan mengapa itu bertahan sampai sekarang, despite all the mess and the heartbreaks
jika melihat kemungkinan di masa depan maka pertanyaannya:
mengapa begitu clueless, apa yang harus saya lakukan sekarang agar mendapatkan yang terbaik di masa depan
apakah terlalu dini, tepat, atau salahkah jika saya memilih untuk berbelok arah atau mengambil jalan lain
mengapa Tuhan tidak memberi saya satu pilihan mutlak yang mau tidak mau harus saya ambil dan saya jalani,
tapi memberi saya pilihan dengan petunjuk yang (saya rasa) kurang.

saya tidak tahu kenapa, tapi jalani saja.

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i'll be back soon.

ah, tinc.

katanya udah biasa.
katanya, i'll get used to this kind of routine.
tapi nyatanya ga akan pernah kebiasa kan?

karena kehidupan yang normal itu menyenangkan,
dan rasanya susah untuk switch back ke hidup yang waktu itu, yang bikin kamu lelah luar biasa tapi jadi strong.

you know what?
this kind of life, is so great, is pretty amazing yet so refreshing.
i can take a breath, sleep properly, eat well.
but i think this kind is just not my kind.
this is not mine.
i should not get used to this, or else i wouldn't ever want to switch back again.
tapi aku harus kebiasa lagi sama yang dulu-dulu, yang akan jadi sekarang-dan-nanti, kalo ga ya pasti keteteran ke depannya.

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9.11.10

woof woof

if you can't see it, it doesn't mean it's not there.

maybe it exists but is not shown
i see, not all things are visible
i need to look up beyond it all :)

thanks, by the way
for the thing that you-don't-know-i-know :))

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kemarin

saya ketinggalan kunci mobil di ruang TPB, dan ruang TPB dikunci jam 5 habis itu yang megang kuncinya langsung pulang.

dan saya baru sadar sekitar jam setengah tujuh pas mau pulang (sebelumnya ada tutor cat air dulu di selasing).
sempet galau beberapa lama, beberapa temen nyaranin yaudah bilang aja nginep, mobilnya inepin di kampus.
tapi akhirnya bilang aja ke orangtua, dan disuruh jangan sampe inepin mobil soalnya parkirnya ga di dalem kampus tapi di pinggir jalan yg ga ada tukang parkir dan ga ada orang yg bisa dititipin gt.
akhirnya setelah galau sambil makan (:p) caritau deh ke satpam, ternyata kuncinya ga ada serepnya, akhirnya minta nomer orang TU yg pegang kunci.
terus ngerepotin orang TU lagi, jadinya dia balik ke kampus.
terus alhamdulillahnya ada di kolong bangku ternyata wooooo.

hehe terimakasih teman-teman, bapa ibu, dan spesialnya pak deny :p
insya Allah ga akan ceroboh lagi

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4.11.10

4 november

a little bit of blue this morning.

but i am so so so very very very happy
i hope it's because i've made someone happy today :)
i really hope so

happy birthday to you :)

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3.11.10

udah paling romantis sedunia deh

/via ym, beberapa hari yang lalu


Reza Kaesar: gini ya, kalo kamu ngasih apa yg kamu bisa. dia ga akan surprise
Reza Kaesar: coba kalo yang gabisa, dia pasti mikir, edan banget niat pisan lah gini2an
fathina rukandi: iya gt
fathina rukandi: haha
Reza Kaesar: -_______-
Reza Kaesar: iya lah
Reza Kaesar: niat pisan lah bikin ginian, padahal kan dia gabisa gini2an
Reza Kaesar: beuh bermakna banget ga sih
fathina rukandi: berarti aku harus bikin apa?
fathina rukandi: bikin video lari 12menit?

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halo,
untuk beberapa orang,
apa kita masih kenal?
atau mungkin situasi memaksa kita kembali menjadi asing satu sama lainnya?
orang asing yang menyembunyikan terlalu banyak cerita untuk menjadi asing.

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sedih

kenapa sih woy? kenapa km punya titik titik malah jd titik titik cb. sampe aku mau titik titik aja ga boleh grgr takut titik titik, pdhl masalah titik titik yg mungkin bikin si titik titik km jd titik titik itu udh lewat bgtlah. lupain aja gt, org skrg jg udh ga titik titik lg kan. masa aing gaboleh temenan sm maneh sih woy. sedih tau. walopun masih bisa ngobrol lewat titik titik dan titik titik. tp ya tetep aja. cuma gitu doang atulah. sedih ih.

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final: Day 30- Who are you?

not that one who will make you take a double peek.

not everybody's favorite.
well if someone happens to get along well with this so unlovely girl and feel great about that, he/she must be a really tough person :))
what makes me exceptional? don't leave the question for me. if you want, try to figure it out. if you don't, well don't bother.

(haha gabisa bikin jawaban keren lah buat pertanyaan terakhir ckck)

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