I'm not really doing bad, am I?

The saddest thing you've ever seen....

*very short and meaningless post that has to be posted anyway*


Hehehehehehe. :)

Sometimes our hands are overly occupied trying to get a hold on something that's not within our reach; sometimes we are just wasting our time looking to control something that we really have no power of.

Life consists of so many variables, but there's really only one of which we can control: our very own selves.
It can be very vulnerable, it can be really strong, but the only thing that can protect it is our willingness to accept that not everything is in our hands, not every decision is ours, and those what ifs could never change the unchangeable.

We have to accept that there is a greater force keeping our lives running, by whatever name we call it; and we are not the omnipotent, nor the omniscience.
Nevertheless, however little we can do, we must do to make it matter. We control ourselves, and we'd better be bloody good at it.

There were times when I wish this place were a person who can reciprocate my actions, who can talk back so it wouldn't be some sort of one-way traffic here.

Luckily this is just a blog, something inanimate, because otherwise I think it would be having abandonment issues due to my (extremely) frequent absence.

Well, I had my own reasons.

You would've thought, there would be much to tell, and the first post after a long period of absence would tend to be a very long narration of what had happened, what had lingered in thoughts, and what had kept me from coming. But no, there's not much to tell. Much had happened, much had lingered in thoughts, and much had kept me from coming, but from those, only little did I find worth-sharing.

Some part of me had considered describing recent periods of my life 'straight-forward, repetitive routines', but after second thought (and third, maybe fourth), I wouldn't describe it as such. I might have gone to same places at the same time, done same tasks and activities, but it was never a repetitive routine. To label a certain time span of your life as "straight-forward" and "repetitive" to me is just trying to describe things in hindsight. Leaving out little things that matter, that set the difference. Over-simplification.
I'm inclined to think that everytime someone describe his life as such, it says more about his reluctance to recall and to share than the quality of his life itself. You know, just a way to finish off conversation quickly and not go into details. "How's your life going?" "Nothing much, just as usual. Same stuffs." End of story.

I miss times when I actually had that eagerness to dig into interesting excerpts of my life, and actually feel the urge of sharing it here (whether or not it is read is another matter, of course). I miss times when those little bits do intrigue me. And I keep coming back here, writing very long posts that most certainly will bore the five-years-from-now me.

Until then, please do miss me. Haha.